Are you at a point in your life where you do not feel satisfied enough, even if you live a dignified life? Do you feel like you’re doing a lot of things every day, but none of them make sense in your life? Keep calm; you do not suffer from some incurable disease that does not cause you thoroughly enjoy your days. Is not it that you do not live in harmony with your real identity?
Of course, every day we have some reason to be grateful, maybe even the simple fact of being alive but basically, we feel like there is a light turned off inside us. It is not such a desperate situation. The world is full of people who share your same feelings. Have you ever noticed people when they laugh? In many cases, they show their teeth, but there is no light in their eyes does it make sense to you?
We can achieve everything in our life. The problem is that sometimes we don’t even know why do we want a specific thing. We live senseless relationships without knowing if we are really in love, or we have a lifestyle that doesn’t satisfy us, we do a job that we do not like, or we frequent people that have no importance in our lives. Well, you can add something else to the list if you want;)
We are unaware of our choices and our lives because nobody taught us to make us the right questions, and since we were young rarely somebody supported us in our decisions. But the purpose of this article isn’t to complain about something or someone. We can’t change the society, and we have no rights to change others, but we can improve ourselves.
In this moment of your life, look around, and take awareness of your situation. I want you to know that you are the result of your past thoughts and actions. You are 100% responsible for your life. And you are the only one who can write your own story.
But the beauty of life is that we can change it, even when it seems impossible. We can change things by making clarity on us and our lives.
Get clarity about who you are
The first question to ask is: “Who am I?”
I want you to know that you’re not the person you thought you were up to now, nor the person your friends thought I was. It is not so easy to know who we are because ever since we were children, others have influenced us with their thoughts. And probably, today you think that your characteristics correspond to the labels that others have put to you.
When I was attending a course in “Time Management” by Eben Pagan, in the last lesson, we had to do an exercise that made me reflect. In that exercise, I discovered parts of myself that I liked and others that I kept in the shadows just because I did not want to accept them. And I found those parts only by noting three qualities of someone I admire and three defects of someone I probably do not like. We praise in other aspects that already belong to us, and at the same time, we criticize others for the defects that we possess. A straightforward exercise, but that has had an impact on my points of view since I discovered my strengths and weaknesses.
You think of others the same things you feel about yourself, but perhaps you are not aware of it.
You will not immediately find the answers to your questions, but if you make room for your thoughts to questions like these: “Who am I? What are my strengths and what are my weaknesses? What are my goals? What do I want to have in life? “, you will find the answer. Simple questions that will have a significant impact on your life.
If you get clarity about who you are, your self-esteem will improve dramatically. Furthermore, low self-esteem is because we do not know who we are and what our value is and let the judgments of others influence us.
When you decide what your goals are, you should put a deadline to reach them. Only in this way you can make sure that you will work on them, otherwise, they will seem hopes, which you will not necessarily realize.
Get clarity about who you want to be in the future
Once you understand who you are, you should start thinking about who you want to be in the future. Imagine the best version of yourself and start acting like the person you want to become.
We continuously think about ourselves, but often our thoughts are negative. We think of that story that ended badly, that hard day at work and so on. But it’s time to think about your future intentionally. Think of the emotions you want to experience, the image you would like others to have of you, the skills you want to develop and work to get the best.
We must not think about the future as if it were to arrive in 20 years. The future is already tomorrow. One day you have not yet experienced.
A way to understand what you want
We usually think about what we do not wish to. For this reason, I invite you to take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. Write on one side of the paper all the things you do not want for your life. On the other hand of the write the opposite of what you do not wish to (for example: if you write on the left “I do not want to work for someone else” on the right part you will write “I want to start my business”). In this way, you will get some ideas on how you want your life to be.
Decide on your priorities
What are the significant things in your life?
That kind of thing must never be lacking in your life. Have fun following your principles and make room for what matters. The things that give meaning to your life are those for which you feel the enthusiasm that provides you with satisfaction and with which you identify yourself.
Here is a task that I’ve found in the book of Brendon Burchard ” High-Performance Habits,” which helped me ( you can see it here if you want):
- Write down three words that describe your best self (Some ideas for how you can embody these words more often this upcoming week are)
- Three words that could define how you want to treat other people are ( some people in your life whom you could improve your interactions with this week included)
- The 5 skills you are trying to develop most of your life right now are… (the way you can learn or practice those skills this week includes…)
- Three simple ways you can add value to those around you this week are ( something you could do this week with real focus and excellence to help someone else is)
- The primary feelings you want to cultivate in your life, relationships, and work this week include ( the way you will generate these feelings is to)
- Something you can do or create that would bring you more meaning in life is…
OK, this is what I know about gaining clarity. Those questions and exercises helped me a lot, and I hope it’ll also be useful for you!
Let me know;)