According to Jim Rohn, you are the five people who surround you. Another quote that I have used for years but that means the same thing is: “You attract who you are!”
In this article let’s talk about how to choose your friends.
I’ve decided to write this post because being surrounded by the right people is critical to our well-being. You know that our friends can influence our thinking and our life, not only our mood.
Stop attending certain friendships
Generally to Jim Rohn’s quote, someone can think: “Perfect, from now on I will only attend people who esteem me, motivate me and influence me positively!” It’s that “only” that worries. From my direct experience, we end up merely to cut away from our lives anyone who is not to our liking, anyone who launches us some provocation or do not support us in our challenges.
As a start, it wouldn’t be wrong. The problem is that we don’t stay at the center of the Universe and nobody can behave in a total perfect manner with us. Not only because we all are, fortunately, imperfect beings, but also because everyone lives in their world, with their problems and thoughts of which we probably are not even aware. By cutting away everyone who was wrong with us, we’d find ourselves on an island alone talking to coconuts.
Sometimes I see some people who ruin by themselves their day only because another person has not had the right reaction at one of their request. It’s merely illogical thinking to know how others would have to behave. There are no two equal people; everyone sees the world from their perspective, which bases on their knowledge and beliefs, so why should someone think he can control others behaviors?
You can choose your friends not your family
People who do not support us can be part of our family. What would happen in this case? Could you keep them away from your life? It’s not merely possible!
The day of my degree, my cousin had to get married in another country. My mother didn’t know whether to celebrate the achievement of my goal with me or the beginning of a new life for her niece with her sister. Sure, she told me she would participate in my degree, but I know her too well, and I know she wanted to be in both places the same time.
I advised her, therefore, to go to my cousin’s wedding, because in my case I would have to receive a grade and that would have been all. And so she did! Everyone went to the wedding.
So that day, which was vital for me, I found myself alone, and luckily there was my boyfriend.
I do not deny that I have not lost the opportunity to blame my mother, because she would have to stay with her daughter.
By reflecting on it better, however, it was me who created the situation in which I found myself. My mother has merely not understood how vital would have been her presence to me, because I had made her know otherwise.
This one is an example of my life that I used for you to understand that if we do not ask people for what we want, they will never get to understand it themselves, because they are not in our heads, just as we are not in theirs.
Build instead of Destroying
As I said before, if we focus too much on people we have to avoid, we end up cutting off space and time to friendships that can arise and can enrich us. It is effortless to destroy a relationship; it’s enough to react badly to what seems to us a provocation, and that’s it.
I know people who, even though you have shared precious time with them, at your first “mistake” they would stop greeting you as if you no longer exist for them. Well, I wish you never to meet people like them.
Such people treat you as if they were superior, but they are only rude and do fear confrontation. On the other hand, the greeting is a form of respect, and even the one you do not like should deserve it, because every single human being has dignity, just because he exists. And we must recognize it. On the other hand, it’s enough to say, “Hello!”
Learn to prove compassion for others, and you will understand that in most cases their bad moods or their “bad days” don’t have any business with you. So do not waste time judging anyone.
It is also true that people who you spend your time with will influence you. If you have a friend who is always happy, somehow you will feel happier in his company. If your friend takes care of herself and does not leave the house without makeup, you’ll end up to assume the same behavior. When you attend people who are obsessed with healthy eating, they will be able to convince you to begin their same lifestyle.
Just as the opposite is exact, i.e., if your friends smoke, you’ll start smoking, etc.
If you want to have a healthy lifestyle, if you’re going to be happy, energetic and prosperous, find among your acquaintances someone who has approached these standards and ask him to meet him. You do not have to have many new friends at once. Just start getting to know one and spend as much time as possible with him.
You will notice how your new friendships will make the difference in your life!
How to find positive friendships
Brendon Burchard offers us some advice on where to meet people who make the difference:
- In Volunteering
People who are involved in volunteering are often pleasant and stress themselves even less than those who do not volunteer. Well, it’s not that he merely advises us to attend such people, but also to become volunteers. Knowing that we can make a difference in someone else’s life, even with a simple smile, makes us feel good, makes us feel useful. Donating brings us the same joy of receiving, if not more. Doing something for others often gratifies us more than doing something for ourselves.
- Practice a sport
A bit ‘of healthy competitiveness does not hurt anyone; instead, it leads us to improve ourselves and to reinforce our weak sides. It helps us to have more control over our body.
Achieving some goals motivates us. However, the challenge should be more against ourselves than against others; this is the best way to improve ourselves.
- Be the best version of yourself
As I said at the beginning of this article, you attract who you are. And from my experience, I know how accurate it is.
Write on a sheet of paper the qualities you would like to develop and start to commit to it. You can find in the books all the information you need to become who you want to be. There are plenty of books that respond to every need or doubt.
Study ways to become anyone you want and will inevitably attract people of that standard or with your aspirations.
Based on my studies and my experiences I have exposed my point of view. Nothing that I would not have studied and proved 🙂
But I would like to know your point of view. If you have any question or want to share your experience, please leave a comment below;)
Related =About Brendon Burchard=