Nowadays the majority suffers from stress. Many people do not even know that they are stressed out because they don’t know its meaning. They, therefore, identify their condition with anxiety and depression; these two are the consequence of stress.
Being in similar discomfort, they think to solve their problem by assuming antidepressants prescribed by the psychiatrist. These, however, even though they help to relieve the stress, can’t eliminate it.
In a previous article, I wrote a list of 10 tips to relieve stress. But before healing a condition of discomfort, it would be better if we could identify at least the most common stressors. If we know what causes us stress, we can fight it, and in this way eliminate stress at the root. If we can’t change a situation that causes us discomfort, we can put in place methods that help us to bear it.
And yet knowing the causes of our problems makes us aware of it and helps us to control our emotions.
5 Most Common Stressors
We know that stress is often the consequence of an unpredictable event that changes our lives. And that this way it puts us out of our comfort zone. When we must face new developments that we have not planned, we feel uncomfortable, and often the reason is that we resist to the new reality.
Let’s see now 5 of the most common stressors that can create a huge discomfort, because they often enter our lives in a “violent” way, finding ourselves unprepared and forcing us to adapt to a new reality.
1. Death of a loved one. Accepting the death of someone we love is almost impossible, and it takes a long time to accept that. For that reason, people often fall into depression and feel lonely.
Sometimes it happens that dies a person with whom you have left some things unsolved or which you have not seen for a long time, and here you end up feeling guilty because you think you have neglected him/her when he has needed you most.
Other times can die our child, and this one may be the most lacerating cause. Some people recover from the death of their loved one, and there are others who never overcome it.
Then there are those who think they see the dear deceased in the little things of reality consoling themselves with the idea that there is the angel from the afterlife that is always at their side.
But feelings of guilt create the worse stress because we make ourselves responsible for the death of our loved ones. It often happens that we take on responsibilities that don’t belong to us and we don’t forgive us the impotence in the face of death.
When someone who was very close to us dies, we find ourselves in a new reality that we initially do not think we can face alone. Starting to live a different life makes us feel in uncertainty, and we are afraid of uncertain things. This way we become stressed out.
2. Divorce. When a couple separates, it seems that finally, the one part gets free from the other, but in reality, this also involves a change in our fact. Above all when there are children, we need to pay more attention to their feelings. Even if it may seem that they feel good, seeing mom or dad who leaves from home makes them feel uncomfortable.
If the family stops to be stable, the baby stops feeling at safe and can develop anxiety and fear of being rejected or abandoned.
Children see reality in a completely different way from adults, so we need to understand their point of view.
When mom and dad leave each other, they are often so committed to hating each other that they forget that their son can think that he is the cause of the divorce. When dad leaves the house, the child may believe that the father is no longer available to make the father’s role and that he won’t be there when he needs him.
Moreover, this kind of situations also creates stress later in the education of the child, because two parents who do not communicate don’t act in a joint agreement for the good of their children, thus leading them to live in confused situations.
3. Moving. Nobody likes shifting because you have to deal with packages and move furniture. Moreover, during the shift, your house is in total disorder, and your things are not in the usual place, which creates a lot of stress. Already in itself, the disorder disturbs harmony, but being in a transition phase does not make us feel at ease.
The jobs that you have to do during the shift are often hard and uncomfortable work. And you understand that you are stressed out when you feel you are looking forward to the moving to finish.
In the beginning, when you’re in the new house, you do not feel in total comfort because you still have to adapt to the new spaces.
4. Major Illness. When someone gets ill, and its illness is serious, this condition affects not only him but also the rest of the family; this happens in part because it’s impossible not to worry about those around us, and partly because the mood of those with whom we live affects us both positively or negatively.
If a young person has one of the two parents sick, he probably won’t know how to cope with the situation and will eventually start drinking, smoking and using drugs to relieve stress. In this way, he will harm himself, and probably the other relatives won’t be emotionally available to help him. Young people are more susceptible to diseases of their parents because they believe that this way a point of reference is lacking.
Very often in the face of a disease, those who act worse are people who surround the patient and not the sick person itself.
5. Job Loss. Loss of a job can also be stressful. A person who loses his position not only feels humiliated because he has the feeling of having to depend on someone else but also has to worry about how to make a living. Thinking that you can’t cope with family expenses makes you get anxious.
In fact, people who have a family to maintain are more stressed out in such situations.
Losing your job means you have to change your lifestyle. Although this may be a temporary situation, it creates a lot of discomforts.
Even having to leave the current job for another one can make us feel anxious because we go towards an uncertain situation. So in the beginning, when everything is new to you, you might feel a lot of stress.
We live a life of continuous changes. We can’t stop time, nor can we resist the natural flow of events. Stress is a condition that we can’t avoid. We can only learn how to handle it in the best way.
Then there are those people who create their stress. They are those people who continually seek perfection and are never satisfied with the results. These people are the most stressed out because they want to control everything and everyone. Not only are they stressed out, but they create discomfort around them.
Some examples of self-induced stress are:
- Your child does at least two different activities a week, and you must accompany him personally;
- You do not have time to spend with your friends because you’re always in a hurry;
- You do not even have time to prepare a homemade dinner;
- You think you can relax better at work than at home;
- You feel guilty if you have nothing to do;
- You’re looking forward to a specific season of activity to end.
I’ve listed above the most common stressors. It’s crucial to you to understand what stress is and what factors trigger it; this way you can be more aware of your emotions and you can recognize you are stressed out.
If you do still have any question, please leave a comment, and I’ll be more than happy to help you out.
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